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  • Writer's pictureZachary Strand

Part One: The Adventures of Beth, Ugs, and Gary

Updated: Aug 22, 2022



Here is a story of Beth, Ugs, and Gary,

Three heroes smart, who love to eat berries.

Ugs is the leader, thoughtful and fair,

Who steers the ship onward from her great captain’s chair.

Beth is the boldest to be simply put,

And can make the hard choice w’out a second look.

Then Gary’s determined (and oft of one mind),

With a heart of pure gold, which is so hard to find.

The trio sail as one, aboard their bright ship “Susan.”

An homage to their mum, staged by strange deft allusions.

Every villain knew them, and the evilest dropped down,

What became a world record for the biggest-ever-frown.

“Those fools must be stopped,” he snarled with a snivel.

While he seems quite charming, his heart is mere drivel.

They call him Malum (yes, evil is his name),

But despite this he had accumulated some good press and then fame.

He set out to stop them, our beloved bold three,

“Stop doing good, or bringeth thy doom upon thee.”

And at first they were scared! Dear Beth, Ugs, and Gary.

Facing the evilest of villains, how could they not be?

Malum acted gracious, giving a few days to choose:

Would they keep doing good, or come join his motley crew.

So they sat and they thought, yes thinking they sat,

For Malum is terrifying, there is no denying that.

Then on the final day, drifting from the sky flew,

A large paper package descending out of the blue.

Inside of the package was a note in a beautiful hand,

“Three gifts and a blessing for doing good work in our land.

Stay to the course and I will help be your guide,

If you choose to accept me, together we’ll thrive.

Here are three gifts, each for each one specifically,

With no strings attached, just given over lovingly.”

The presents were exquisite, exceptionally made,

If turned in for homework, an A++ would be their grade.

For Ugs came a telescope and a big history book,

Inscribed “To see ahead, give the past a good look.”

For Gary a golden sword, and engraved in the wonder,

“Only for good use, and against friends can’t cut butter”

And for Beth was a small lantern, no bigger than her thumb,

“When you can’t trust inside, try looking to the sun.”

There was never a name, no, not a John Hancock to close,

But something said clearly, this was not from a foe.

We cannot join Malum, intimated Ugs to the two

To which they nodded, it’s true, this they all knew.

None of them knew how, or what all should be done

But it was definitely not conceding to the evil one.

In her book Ugs found ways to negotiate a peace,

And Beth lit the room as she read, keeping watch like a priest.

Gary sat patiently and sharpened his blade

Hoping that no battle need even be made.

They thought of each other, instead of themselves

And looked to the night stars, as their encouragement well.

Then they politely declined, and so rightly refused

To do wrong, omit a good act, be bullied, or abused.

Despite the fear in their bones, they put forth a brave face

And said no to Mr. Malum in his own dwelling place.

And went on to save everyone, everywhere, every time,

Knowing they had done right and feeling quite fine.

It never mattered who, and certainly never where,

If ever there be evil, our three heroes would soon be there.

The decision to act continues to be a choice of challenge,

But by faith, hope, and bravery they always seem to manage.

To an onlooker they seem amazing, brave, as a hipster says, “just chillin’!”

But remember their fear to face the evilest of all villains?

In fact every time they went to fight on someone’s behalf,

Fear would accompany them, but they would choose just to laugh.

So if you ever feel scared, maybe alone one dark night,

Think of Beth, Ugs, and Gary, then join in their fight!

They need more compatriots, they need you on their team.

All you need is a heart and a head full of dreams.

It is a choice to be strong, fair, and kind.

But don’t worry! You needn’t be all at one time.

Look to the heavens above, and the compassion in your heart.

Try to be adventurously brave, that's always a good start.

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